Creating Zen; The Balancing Act

October is all about balance. This couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time for me. “A series of unfortunate events” had me feeling like the world was tilting off its’ axis. After a few mini meltdowns, I was tired of feeling tied and in this moment, began visualizing the scales of life balancing themselves out.  I literally said to myself, “If things can get this “bad”, then surely, they can also get that “good”. I kept this thought and vision in my head and keep repeating  it every time the feeling of uneasiness crept back in. I imagined myself pushing the scales back into place and then moved as though I was actually pushing them. I had owned this feeling and thought before and remembered how calming it was. When I decided to really live in it again, I was able to relax.

When I am working with a client who is extremely anxious or finds it hard to let go, I go to a place that lets me become objective and neutral in my way of being so that I can be most helpful to them. In this case, I was my own client. When I stopped fighting with myself, I was the one who found benefit. I became more clear, I could sleep and move forward.

Here are some tips for the Balancing Act in your life:

1) Visualization is Key. Creating calm while in a storm can be achieved by visualizing your way to back into balance. Having a mental picture that reminds you of what you want to achieve in your life engages your right brain which is all about creating the path for change. If you’re having trouble finding your vision, creating a vision board of what you want in your life is a kind reminder of what is possible.

2) Breathe don’t pant. Not all breathing is created equal. Learning to breathe again takes practice but is essential for creating more balance as it allows perspective and calms your cluttered mind.

3) Ready, Fire, Aim. A friend shared with me the concept of letting go of perfection and opting for action. Whatever it is we are trying to accomplish can easily be derailed if we think that we have to be dead on accurate all the time. Practice, patience and persistence will bring about change in unexpected ways which may far outweigh what you had in mind.

Creating Zen; Relaxation is Good Medicine

James S. Gordon, MD is a psychiatrist and founder and director of the Center for Mind-Body Medicine. In his book   Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression, Gordon suggests practicing the art of relaxation throughout each day as a means of encouraging a happier, healthier and more sane life.  Much like regular exercise, research has shown that even small breaks of relaxation show promising psychological and physiolocal changes that can be accomplished in minutes. Here are a few of the study results:

Kindergartners Have it Right.  A Harvard study looked at the napping habits of 20,000 adults and showed that  those who took brief naps 2 to 3 times/week reduced their risk of coronary artery disease by 12%. Surprisingly, those who napped 3 or more times/week reduced their risk by 37%!

A daydream is a meal at which images are eaten…-W.H. Arden   Researchers at New York University found that “wakeful resting” (just sitting there) increased memory and cognitive function. Study participants were asked to observe images and then take a short nap while remaining awake.  During the “wakeful resting”  an MRI scanned their brain activity and revealed that the new information was being absorbed and consolidated.

Everybody Benefits from Massage. We know that getting a massage feels good, but many studies have documented that good feeling is caused by the release of dopamine and serotonin which slow heart rate, reduced blood pleasure and cortisol levels which also enhance deeper sleep. The body has a amazing capacity and desire to heal itself and encouraging deeper sleep encourages it’s natural healing tendency by facilitating tissue repair and regeneration.

All work and no play makes Jack a sick boy – Webster’s Dictionary has a “Word of the Year” contest and this year, one of the words in the running is “leisure sickess” which describes the flu-like syndrome many workaholics get from taking time off.  Even those of us who aren’t workaholics have the sense of being indulgent when thinking about relaxation.

Fight the Feeling – The next time you start to feel guilty about taking a break, remember, just relax, your life depends on it.

Creating Zen; Taking Charge of Your Mind

Our mind moves at a continuous pace and even when our body is quiet it can keep us from making the effort to be still even more stressful which moves us further away from the calm mind.   This is the way the mind works, it likes being in charge and it usually wins the battle over our bodies and in doing so creates the canvas for a host of disease.  Even the word dis-ease, meaning ill at ease, relates to the importance of mind-body connection.

So how do you take charge of your mind?  Rather than fighting fire with fire, pitting will against will, you can learn another approach to relieve the pressure, quiet your mind, and let go of the need for answers.

Our breath is the answer.  It is really quite simple but we have moved so far away from our perfect breath as babies that we actually need to remind ourselves to breathe by setting aside time to practice it.

1)      We will begin with practicing breathing in the seated position as I want to give you a practical tool that you can use in most situations.

2)       Now close your eyes and place one hand over your chest and the other on your stomach.  Take a deep breath with your mouth open and allow the air to cool your tongue.  As the breath fills up your lungs, you’ll notice that it may feel like it stops half way down your throat.  Don’t worry, with each breath, this feeling of constriction will dissipate.

3)      As you exhale slowly through your nose envision the weight of your body sinking down into the earth.

4)      Now close your mouth and with each inhalation count to 3 or 4, whichever is most comfortable pausing slightly and now exhale to the same count.  Counting helps you to bring your mind into your breathing and helps us deal with any distractive thoughts or sounds around us.

5)      Repeat the cycle, filling up your lungs as much as you can, feeling the movement of your diaphragm.  This is called belly breathing or diaphragmatic breathing and this is how we instinctively began breathing when we were born.

6)      Continue your practice and each time your mind strays, bring it back to your breath by counting, trying to expand the time between your inhalation and exhalation.

With time you will begin to understand why this practice is so valuable and will begin to experience:

-         your body slowing down

-         your breath gets deeper and your diaphragm gets stronger

-         your mind follows and begins to slow down (sometimes kicking and screaming, but eventually giving in peacefully)

-         your heart rate slows down

-         anger, depression and anxiety abate

-         pain symptoms relax

-         your thoughts become clearer

-         and much more

Commit to practicing of Doing Nothing everyday and work your way up to 20 minutes.  This takes concentration and with practice, there will come a time in between your breathing that your thoughts and any outside disturbance will halt.  The space between your thoughts is where you will find the balance between calmness and tension and it is in this space where nothing (and everything) can happen.

Creating Zen; Begin with Doing Nothing

Most of us go through our daily life operating at a below optimum level; frenetically going about our business without lifting our heads.  We collapse at night and get up in the morning to do the same thing all over again.  Making time to relax is just another thing on our endless to-do list and it’s no wonder that when someone offers up the phrase, “Just relax” we tense up even more; we may even need to restrain ourselves from chocking them.  I am just like you.  I understand what this feels like and what the result are.

A co-worker once asked me if I ever did nothing.  Being the type A personality who always had goals and checklists; I looked at her in a baffled way and asked her to define what she meant.  Again, she asked me if I could sit for 20 minutes and just do nothing; just be.  At this time in my life, my twin daughters were 6 months old and the thought of doing nothing was not an option I entertained.   Instead of sitting still for 20 minutes, I would have settled for 20 minutes of uninterrupted sleep.  I also thought that there was no way that she could begin to understand what challenges my daily life held given that she had a extremely independent husband and no children.  It took me 12 years to actually embrace what she had tried to help me with and another 8 years of practice to be able to feel comfortable doing it.

I want to invite you to practice the Doing Nothing.  You might be surprised about how productive doing nothing is.

Let’s define “nothing” as the point or balance between calmness and tension.  You’ll notice that if you ask people to sit and do nothing, there is a clear tension that results.

So, how do you take charge of your cluttered mind and get the most out of doing nothing?  The following is a series entitled Creating Zen which will include insights, offerings and activities that encourage you  to  Reconnect to Your True Potential.  Enjoy.